Anglofritz Gets Its Hands Dirty
$1 million bounty offered for offending Danish cartoonists
Okay, everyone's learning something about everyone else now. A Pakistani cleric has put out a bounty, heavily supplimented by parish funds, for any Danish cartoonist "who has caused this sacrilege of the holy Prophet." One-time offer? If not, I think we're going to have a craze -- some of the cartoonists who have satirized Mohammed must be so old by now, they'd be way easy to flush out.
Well, in any case, the time for commentary is over. Sure, the politicians can go on and on with their diplomatic pandering, but out here in the street, we must be brave. Not to be intimidated, Anglofritz has put out a counter-bounty: to anyone who can bring, ALIVE AND UNHARMED, the person of Islamic scholar Maulana Yousef Qureshi to our East German offices, we offer the following reward:
-€42, plus whatever change we can find in our couches
-one surplus döner (Ben bought it at around 2:00 pm today and it's in the fridge, so we can reheat it)
-A copy of What's The Matter With Kansas, by Thomas Frank
-a women's bicycle, with new inner tubes and basket
If we can get him in here, Ben and I are going to scold the hell out of this guy. Seriously, Ben is so mad, he might interrogate Qureshi (utilizing non-violent techniques such as raising his voice and repeating questions, as if you're dumb or something) and make it into a podcast. This is how Anglofritz settles the score. This zealotry is getting way out of hand. And gosh darn it, sometimes you have to fight fire with fire.