The Winter Olympics
Who gives a fuck about the Winter Olympics? I’ll tell you who. It’s the same people, or the same impulse in your brain, that cares about chaos smoothed down to form a hard slippery silver tube – something kept so frictionless by laser machines that when you touch it it feels like your hand is a sliver going through it – until all that matters is the flick of your neck, or a twitch of your shoulder. Those are your speed-nerves. Those are the nerves that love speed and the ability to control the part that wants to lose control. And you know which country has trained its people to develop this synapse to a point beyond reason? That’s right, Deutschland.
The current medals table proves it all. The US and Russia have all the money and all the athletes, the winter climate countries – Scandinavia and Canada – have the tradition-advantage – but the Germans have the most medals, because they have the BALLS MADE OF ICE!
But the Winter Olympics are pure aesthetic self-reflexion, it’s art for art’s sake dissociated from symbolic death. The man no longer contemplates the skull, but the angle of the curve. The world is full of spiritual revelations; it’s a kaleidoscope of emotional adventures, of juggling emotional injury and your hedonism (does it not make the world a better place if the only thing you do today is give yourself a mild pleasure?) and thus, no human being should occupy themselves by perfecting their technique for jumping into a bob-sleigh. Have a lightly buttered waffle instead. Or wear a cowl and transcribe scripture. It doesn’t matter if you shave your legs or not, to get down the tube faster. That’s why no-one cares about the Winter Olympics.
Comments
Nice article, Ben, however Germanophilic.
Anonymous; February 20, 2006 10:51 PM