Attn: Talented Expats With Lots of Free Time
You could write for Der Spiegel (pro bono)!
Unestablished people in Berlin, i.e. non-natives who don't speak good German or have some sort of well-delineated career path, tend to be rogues. Mention money, jobs or free beer and they'll be all over you, demanding "Where? Where?" and fingering something in their coat that you hope isn't a knife. That's as negative as I'm willing to get, though: they tend to be interesting, talented people who have just been waylaid (or have waylaid themselves) here in Germany.
Now, Germans need jobs even more than we expats do, what with the 18% unemployment rate in Berlin, so the Auslandsamt doesn't want you in here taking German jobs unless you do something that Germans can't do, like speak English natively or have a positive outlook on life. You won't be hired for these reasons, unless you are eminently qualified or come cheap. This generally adds up to a capricious, semi-destitute lifestyle for expats: it's fun and beautiful and different here, I've got lots of free time and lots to do, but how am I going to pay my rent?
In the meantime, call centers, nurseries and kitchens are all willing to take advantage of your situation, and pay you not much at all in return for ignoring your immigrant status. Think of it as reverse globalization, Mr. Privileges. And now, look who's jumping on the bandwagon: Der Spiegel, Germany's number one purveyor of anti-American haterade! Go ahead, write a piece on how "crazy" German culture is for our Survival Bible. We'll give you recognition. (BTW, have you noticed how "edgy" these pieces are, like the shocker on the German toilet? A shocker on a German toilet -- now that's almost something.)
Anyways, I advised this one in the beginning for the very purpose of venting your frustration with German rules, but I think I'm growing up. Now, I'm in Phase Two: renunciation. Anglofritzers, put bread into your own mouths, not the fatcat haters of Der Spiegel! Save your observations for your blog-readers and your friends, who will profit socially and culturally, rather than selling advertising and name recognition off of your observational genius. Spiegel English has enough cash-ohol -- when do you get paid? And put that knife away -- I'm broke.
Comments
The problem, I think, is that ex-pats here get so stuck in being CREATIVE, they forget to be creative with their own lives here. I've carved out a very lucrative niche here in Germany and earn far more than I ever would back in the States. Sure, it sometimes involves doing things I never dreamed I'd be doing, but my desk is feet from my bed and I can take off an hour in the afternoon to hit the playground with my kids.
Really, it sounds like you've assimilated to the point of adopting that great Hauptstadt pessimismus.
Andy; March 23, 2006 9:49 AM
Expats, just think of a German national in Washington D.C., with limited English language capabilities, no significant talent for which anybody wanted to pay much, or anything at all. How is this fellow going to pay his rent?
Bernhard Kopp; March 23, 2006 10:27 AM
Yeah, but it's not the same.
Roto; March 24, 2006 11:35 AM
Why not become a prostitute, darlingk?
Madame Wazow; March 25, 2006 4:51 AM
That line about the Berliners being pessimists is fun-ny!!
Vic; March 25, 2006 4:52 AM