The first question is what kind of pupil should be attempting such a programme. Switzerland is a country with roughly 20% of its population consisting of foreigners. As a result it is not uncommon for a small amount of pupils to have a near-native level of English. I do not, however, believe that the bilingual class will consist solely of such individuals. Anyone who has taught a class containing part-native speakers will know that these pupils tend to dominate procedures, often trying to lead the non-native speaking Swiss teacher into a linguistic booby-trap.

In a country that places so much emphasis on education there is a fear that some children will be pressured into the bilingual Matura by their ambitious parents. The Matura is difficult enough as it is. At the Kantonschule in St. Gallen school starts at 7.35am and can finish as late as 6pm. The early signs of the kind of stress that should only be suffered by 9 to 5 work-horses are already there. Pupils can be seen outside fitting two cigarettes and a coffee into their ten minute breaks between lessons, braving Swiss temperatures during its notoriously long winters.

It is understandable that subjects such as history, geography and in particular economics be taught in English. Let's not pretend that a trainee Swiss banker will get far without an intermediate level of spoken and written English. But physical education? When I was at school a girl had a fit after finding an indoor obstacle course too much of an exertion. If this happened in a bilingual class surely the strictest, most determined teacher would revert back to their most gutural and familiar Schwizer düütsch (Swiss-German). In other words how does physical education being taught in English benefit a schoolchild? Surely this is a waste of Swiss francs? In a school where each anti-slouch chair cost CHF500 (350 euro) money doesn't seem to be an issue...

P.S. There will be more dick jokes tomorrow, don't worry.