Intro to German dishes should be exacting and rigorous

Can you believe this, Anglofritzers? German cuisine is the closet indulgence of American men. If French, Italian, and Southeast Asian are all played-out referents, we're left with... spaetzle! Which the protagonist of the piece thought was "unbelievably complicated." Yeah, if the idea of adding flour to eggs is a revolution in kitchen technique to you. Bake much, Scribner?

The most complicated of all these dishes, the Black Forest cake, still isn't terribly difficult. This class just might be a gimme. They did give a few clues that things weren't exactly koscher. For example, is it not blasphemy to substitute pork for veal in wiener schnitzel? Sweet blasphemy, because I'd do it -- my love for pig is so great that it automatically discludes me from many religions/lifestyles. But the lemon, I won't forego.

So maybe the recipes are simple for effect -- many German staples aren't as difficult to make as they look. But I want to be put to the test at least once before I get my Lehrlingsschein in German food. More procedure! More starch! I'm talking Zwiebelkuchen, Apfel Pfannekuchen, Cambazola Strudel... man, I should have wrote this before dinner.