This is a delicate one this. There are rumours around that the Vatican may relax its attitude to using condoms. Obviously it's all in the wording, (like with details, this is where the devil lies) but the Pope won't exactly go out a limb. The debate seems to be about whether or not the use of condoms for people with AIDS should be considered "a lesser evil". It's so horrible that it's even relevant what the Pope thinks. Here's the thing: people with AIDS should use condoms, otherwise they will spread an apocalyptic pestilence across the Earth that has come straight from the jaws of hell. Whether or not a group of rattling, infirm, berobed buffoons in a tourist trap debate whether it is evil or not to pull a sheath of rubber over a gland should really be beside the point.

But is the Pope's Germanness coming out at last? For the Germans really do consume a lot of condoms, and perhaps Ratzi may have a hand in this wanton liberalisation at the crusty helmet of the church.