Land of the slim and free
As the sun rotates and the moon gets bigger, how many bitches wanna fuck this wiger? Probably not many. So my athletic housemate and me have just been for a long run up and down the Voralpen of Switzerland. For him it is the beginning of a lengthy recovery from torn knee ligaments and for me it is the beginning of the end. I was a reasonably athletic child up until the age of twelve and then things really started going downhill from there.
I have small man-breasts a.k.a. fun-bags or bee-stings. These sit atop a small gut which stretches around my torso and meets at my lower back. Nicknames have included 'pear-boy', 'lesbian' and the less original 'fat-lad'. I have been known to achieve a reasonable level of slimness during the occasional summer but this never lasted for more than a couple of months. All of this is fairly well concealed in casual clothing but you wouldn't want to see me naked.
I have a job which involves being stared at by younger, more attractive and most importantly slimmer people. Switzerland ranks eighth in the world for life expectancy and I put this down to a healthy lifestyle. Exercise and eat sensibly i.e. Cycle to work, join a sports team, go to the gym, walk the dog, the missionary position, muesli for breakfast, a big lunch and a light meal in the evening. The Swiss really do this, I've seen it with my own tired eyes.
There are of course overweight Swiss people but if they are not older than say 35 then they are looked upon as freaks who have somehow slipped through the societal net. I met a Swiss girl who had spent some time in America. She had become fat but I'm sure this won't last much longer than until the end of the next ski season. I look forward to returning one day to Great-fatty-fatty-bum-bum-Britain where the women are drunk and flabby. For now I'll just have to look and be too intimidated to touch.
Comments
Hilarious. At least you can talk (write) about it. Listen, there's nothing wrong with your soul, just so you know. I'm slim, but I almost never exercise and I eat whatever I want. By rights, I deserve to be a fat pig. It has to be genes.
Doc Reiser; May 2, 2006 4:47 AM
mhhh, man-boobs.
tiexano; May 2, 2006 9:42 AM
Oi! That's bang out of order mate!! Not all of us a fat and flabby you cheeky sod! Nice post Seb, funny as usual :0)..
A Brit Friend of Germany; May 6, 2006 3:17 AM