You know that black light you get in night clubs that makes everything white glow and so makes people’s eyeballs luminous so they look like mad monkeys, and you start to think that maybe there are some kinds of drugs that actually do that to your eyeballs but you need to take an awful amount? You know they’ve started to build them into the toilets in clubs and pubs throughout Britain? You know why, don’t you? You know that the ultraviolet light, which is what black light is, makes it difficult to see your veins? So they do that to stop people smacking up in the toilets, you know?

But you know what? That doesn’t happen so much in Germany, not even in Berlin or Frankfurt, which are traps for junk-tourists, where ever since the eighties people have come to find their own sweet horse-death. It’s legendary in Germany, but not many people do it for fun in their locales, like they do in Britain.

It’s true – the danger of recreational use of heroin is smaller in the Bundesrepublik, whereas in Great Britain, people are whacking it up on every free weekend they get. That is a fact. There is no actual evidence for it, but it is a fact.