The grotesque, the intolerable, the exiled, the unhappy, the frustrated, the disappointed, the gruesome, the sickening, the irredeemable. These are the people that Anglofritz is for and the subjects we hope to archive. Christy and me, we sit here in the swollen-eyed dawn of Berlin, two lost and lonely losers, at times drunken fools singing in the harsh winds of Germanity, at other times just shivering in the cold night on our bikes, desperate for a moment's solace.

This is a quiet meditation for you. Concentrate on the sound of a beautiful girl eating an orange. Each time you feel your mind slipping to other matters, return to this sound. Do this for fifteen minutes a day.

Or else, consider this - the Germans also have words for practises so rude that they dip below the radar screen of the average citizen. The game of soggy biscuit, for example, is translated in German as "Kekswichsen," and though the German phrase is closer to the mark, neither provides an accurate illustration of what this public school boy practice truly entails. Perhaps where in Britain it is exclusively the domain of grammar schools and rugby teams, in Germany it's probably a fun game for gays.

Such are our cultural differences.