As of yesterday, the good but timid people of Poland are ruled by a pair of cloven-hooved mischievous leprechauns. They are giant-sized, and spend their days bathing in the river Bug, lying around in the sun, and throwing cows at Warsaw, which is 50 kilometres away. They are twins, they still live with their giant leprechaun mum, who makes them a potato stew every day which has pieces of Polish children in it, who the twins have caught by making special traps in hedges which have blackberries as bait. Their new laws include: compulsory consumption of five slugs three times every day for all Poles over the age of 9, (Of course, the twins own all the slug farms in Poland!), an extra tax on all thin paper napkins, and the outlawing of cars, dogs and cushions. The leprechaun twins also demand that the EU pay for anything in Poland made of metal or plastic.

The German government, nonplussed by the eccentric turn that Polish politics has taken, has sent a strongly-worded letter via the Polish ambassador to Warsaw. The leprechauns reacted by making the letter into a paper cup, filling it with blackberry wine, shouting "Long live Angela Merkel and her pretty little hips!!" and drinking a toast to the German people. Whenever a German diplomat tries to call the Polish government by telephone, Lech, the younger of the leprechauns by one minute, picks up and says, "You've reached the international fart-centre." farts into the phone, says, "Thank you." and hangs up.

Something similar to this was written by a taz satirist a couple of weeks ago, and it has since caused an international incident, with the Polish government calling on the German government to "publicly regret" the article. The German government said it had neither the obligation or the right to do this. Now there has been a phone call between the two governments and everything seems to be alright. Let's see if Anglofritz can re-light the fire.