There was an American flag in my fried mushrooms this afternoon. I was in rural Czech Republic, just trying to have my 15-Crown (that's about 70 cents, America) half-liter of beer and discuss cultural differences with the insanely attractive native demographic (I have chosen a difficult path in this life), and look what had been triumphantly speared into my food. Was it the aforementioned staple bar cuisine or my "American-style" frites -- kind of like steak fries but otherwise unlike anything I have previously experienced -- that produced this little wonder, which was sailing off a toothpick? Or Christ, is Jiroslav on to me? Was it the loud voice or the impolite forms of address? Maybe I'm just paranoid, because the guy forgot about it before I even got around to asking him. Or was he... feigning disinterest?

The leader of Iran has moved on from his misguided missive to the U.S. and crafted a new one to Germany. What I love about these Ahmadinejad letters are they're shots in the dark, awkward Myspace mails to attractive people. "Hey Angela, I saw in your profile that you like the Palestinian State. That's a really unusual interest, and I think we have more than that in common." Five paragraphs and a "Let me know, Mahmoud" later, there's absolutely no way the person is going to respond, which the person totally should have known anyway.

Which begs the question -- why? I mean, this from the guy who wants you to boycott "Zionist" products and -- well, should I keep going? The kangaroo court is underway, Iran is in the sights, and Germany is insistent on correcting their unbürgerliche behavior. So: what's this "just between Hitlers" letter all about? I dunno, is it an attempt to make intercontinental relations into a reality show? Or is it go-for-broke ad creep? What's next, carrier pigeons? The problem with fan mail is -- the more you send, the less I care.

p.s. Youtube is full of maverick filmmakers with something to say. Sometimes it gets political. Tell me: do you like Gnarls Barkley?