You must admit, it's a deal

I can't believe I missed this one over the weekend: you can now rent protesters in Germany. Yep, by ethnicity, outstanding physical characteristics (let's all stay subtle with this one, please), or intensity of cause. And it's about time.

It is so hard to slay capitalism (my favorite wide-eyed, totally sincere cause here) when you realize what a niche is and how deep you are in it. But how about creating a niche with solid coin? They used to call them trade unions, or entourages, but a reasonable Germany has found a way to connect change-oriented and loose-change-deficient citizens with the causes that are worth their presences.

The commoditization of youthful personages is nothing new -- peep the marquee treatment of English tutors in Hong Kong -- but some miasma of ideals and credibility is souring the deal here. If only grassroots change wasn't such a local delicacy! Which begs another question -- naturally German protestors will be available internationally? I'll pay for logistics, though I bet they'll be picky about their travel options.

Other services presumably need to be negotiated directly with the contractor, but it seems safe to assume the rented rebels would be unwilling to throw Molotov cocktails or fight with police officers -- at least not for €10 an hour. This is a new era of demonstrating, after all.

A new era which shall beget another! I would like to officially offer my services providing militant, freedom-fighting demonstrators. We're called The Just Causes. My rates will be higher than Erento's, but I can pull up a score like me, and we've all been in France and seen Michael Collins. May Day! Take the power back!